Ronke Abidoye
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just being

April 25th, 2022

4/25/2022

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So, I was returning a walk this evening when I saw this duck by the side of the main driveway into my neighborhood. She had two tiny ducklings with her, and I was wondering what they were doing on this side of the driveway (since the lake is on the other side). Anyway, I walked past them and then turned back to watch what they were doing out of curiosity.

She was trying to cross the driveway, this driveway in the picture, but here was the problem, she had hurt her right foot. So she was limping quite badly. Because she was limping, she was crossing the driveway very slowly and, of course, the ducklings were only going as fast as she was. I was concerned a car could come careening into the driveway and crush them, so I stood there to make sure that didn't happen.
Y'all, NO CAR CAME!
Here's the kicker: as soon as this duck hopped onto the median with her two ducklings, like 4 cars came at the same time trying to enter the neighborhood. I am not even joking.
Then the duck crossed the other lane and the same thing happened. No car came!
And it was like the Holy Spirit gave me a very real, very physical example of how God takes care of His own.
If God could hold the world, hold time, so that these birds were not crushed, He's got you and me.
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It's My Birthday (soon)!

3/25/2022

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    I've never really been one to do much on my birthday, but I thought I would do something different for my Silver Jubilee.
    I was going to make all my friends and family buy me birthday gifts, but the Lord had other ideas. 
    So instead of giving to me this birthday, please join me to give to others.
    I am organizing two fundraisers and shining the spotlight on other initiatives to help those who have lost their lives (literally and figuratively) because of the war in Ukraine. 
    Invading another country unprovoked is oppression, particularly one that has a much smaller military might. Thankfully, God is still in the business of fighting for the oppressed, so here we are. 

Ways to Give

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Aid specifically for Africans/Black people affected by the war. 
  • GoFundme: I will be matching up to $300 of donations made to the fundraiser. Click here to donate.
Public health:
  • WHO Fundraiser: I will also match up to $200 of donations made to my WHO fundraiser. Click here to donate.

Food, clothing, and other emergency aid
  • Red Cross
Homes for Refugees
  • Airbnb.org
  • Ukraine Take Shelter: (please practice Internet safety when using this site)
  • UK Government Scheme to provide homes

If you or anyone you know needs financial assistance as a result of the displacement from the war in Ukraine, please contact me. 
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Premier League Gameweek #10: Football is fun to watch when your team is winning, innit?

11/1/2021

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     I would like to start a petition to change the rules of football so that my team never loses. Anyone with me?
     We need a finisher at Manchester City. I don't care if we buy someone new or if Pep selects Gabriel Jesus and/or Ferran Torres and/or Phil Foden and/or Cole Palmer as designated finishers. We can play well all we want, but goals are all that count. If we have any hope of winning this thing, or anything for that matter, we need to convert the chances we are creating into goals.
Thank you for coming to my Pep talk. (yes I did :)
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     Well, Nuno's stint was short. Personally, I think the decision might have been a little too hasty. Also, unpopular opinion, I think managers get way too much flack when the team is not performing well. I get it, it's their job to help the team win fixtures. But what about the players' responsibilities? What about the fact that Mr. Golden Boot (& Playmaker!) has only netted 1 goal in 10 matches? Perhaps Daniel Levy should consider that you catch more flies with honey, not iron-clad contracts or high levels of coach turnover. Just saying.
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     This is my life now. I've come to terms with it. In fact, I have been asked, begged even, to take Salah off my team so that he can return to prime goal-scoring form. Maybe I will. He takes up a lot of dollars anyway (or pounds, whatever). Y'all, seriously, if I take him out of my team, and he pulls out another hat-trick next week, I will personally track him down in Liverpool and ask him which of my village people sent him.
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Premier League Gameweek #9: Liver-what? Livergoal!

10/26/2021

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     Well, we were all there. We all saw it go down, live.
Okay, maybe not literally, but it's real and forever etched in history: Liverpool beat Manchester United 5 goals to nothing at home, in Old Trafford, in front of the biggest football club audience in the United Kingdom.
     You know who I feel bad for? The Manchester United fans, who came out in droves to see their team play only to leave in shame and disappointment by half-time.
     But boy, oh boy, is Cristiano Ronaldo a sore loser. In that moment, as he attempted to take the ball from that Liverpool defender, he looked no better than a playground bully. I hope he looks back on that moment with regret and even some gratitude for the referee, because that was a red-card worthy offense.
     Honestly, I think Liverpool decided to pull their punches after Goal Number Five and Pogba's red-card because the goals could have kept on coming. And there was nothing Mr. Apparently-the-G.O.A.T could have done about it.
     Speaking of GOATs, Salah is kind of killing out there this season. I have been trying not to join the bandwagon of captaining him in my FPL because I figured the hot streak would end soon...
     But, I'm adding him to my FPL team this week and I can almost guarantee you, courtesy of my FPL bad luck, that Salah will not score any goals or even net any assists in the upcoming week.
     Who knows? Salah's form might be stronger than my FPL bad luck. (a girl can only hope :)
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PL Gameweek #7 & #8: Ole, ole, ole, ole

10/18/2021

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#1: PL

     Welp, it's only Gameweek 8 and I'm already giving you one post for the price of two. What can I say? I'm tired. Adulting is, like, a LOT.
     But apparently, I'm not the only one who's tired. (Yes, ManU, I'm looking at you.) Can anyone tell me what's going on with them over at Old Trafford? Not that I'm complaining, it's one less team that City has to worry about, but still.
     It looks like many people think it's all Ole's fault. In my football group chats, all I hear is Ole this, Ole that. Poor guy, his ears are probably ringing all day long.
     My personal opinion? There's a little part of me that is glad that Ronaldo's return to Old Trafford has not been the talisman some people hoped it would be (yet). If that's because of Ole, then I say, "Ole, ole, ole, ole."
     I'm sure United will make a comeback (maybe even against Atalanta), but for now, that chant is music to my ears.

#2: FPL

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You know what they say...slow and steady wins the race. (maybe. we'll see, lol.)
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PL Gameweek #6: Three Points are Never Guaranteed

9/28/2021

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     You guys, I think I might have a football addiction. When I tell you that I kept waking up the night before this match because I was so worried! When I tell you that I prayed for Man City like they are the ones paying my salary...
Should I be worried about myself? 😅😅

#1: PL

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     But this crazy, crazy, trippy week of Premier League football is why I'm addicted. Who could have predicted how this week would turn out?
  • Liverpool and Brentford on a 3-3 draw?
  • Aston Villa beat a Cristiano-Ronaldo-led Manchester United!
  • Arsenal beat Tottenham??!
You cannot underestimate any team in the Premier League...This week just showed us no fixture is an "easier" fixture. And 3 points is never guaranteed. Even if you're playing Norwich. 😩

#2: FPL

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     That's also why FPL is a mad ting! People probably bought Ronaldo thinking ManU would win against Villa.
The one that even pain me pass is Luke Shaw. 
Not only did he play a paltry 33 minutes which gave me one FPL point, he proceeded to lose that point by getting a yellow card.
     I don't even want to talk about Trent Alexander-Arnold. I paid a whole 7.5 million pounds for him and he has the audacity to only produce one point?
People are so ungrateful in this world. 
Now I know how the master in the Parable of the Talents felt when his servant buried the talent he gave him 👀
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Premier League Gameweek #5: Well...that sucked

9/20/2021

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This was a crap week for me as a City fan in the PL and as a FPL manager. Absolute poop show.

#1: PL

     Not sure there is much else to say. This week sucked. I have never seen my boys play so badly. I don't know what was said in the locker room or who said it, but Pep, please fix it.
Chelsea and Liverpool are legitimately scaring me now. They sit comfortably at the top of the table, inches away, and it feels like the Premier League title might be slipping away from City, my City... 😩
But I KNOW we will bounce back!

#2: FPL

Shame will not let me share my picture this week. Y'all, it was BAD bad!
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Premier League Gameweek #4: To watch or to blog?

9/15/2021

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      Champions League is back!!!
     Yes, yes, I know this series is about the Premier League, but my big dilemma this week has been: watch a Champions League match or write this blog? Based on the date this blog article is coming to your screens, you can tell what choice I made.

#1: PL

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     But back to the Premier League...what an intense week of football it was!
I felt that classic football feeling of your heart beating out of your chest, your palms & armpits clammy with sweat, and your voice hoarse from screaming at the players.
     Arsenal won their first game of the season. I don't care what anyone says; it's worth celebrating. Because I'm not going to lie to you, I thought the game might turn out to be Norwich's first win of the season.
     Of course, my boys brought home the 3 points against Leicester, which was not easy at all. Playing against Leicester never is. Ask Chelsea (who lost the FA Cup to them)!
     And finally, speaking of Chelsea, I have decided to end my months-long hatred of the Blues. Of course, I will probably still roll my eyes whenever I see Rudiger, but going forward, I will no longer hate-watch their fixtures. (God helping me).

#2: FPL

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    Y'all...see God! I actually have above-average FPL points! What? What?? WHAT??!!!!
    But...I have small bad luck with this FPL of a thing, sha. Why is it the week that I add Antonio as a forward that he goes and gets himself a red card and a -1 FPL score? He had literally been putting out double digit points up until this week!
    Thank the Good Lord I did not make him my captain. Odo upon odo niyen.
    Anyway, that's it for now, folks!
    Sayonara...till Gameweek 5!
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Gameweek #3: Crazy, crazy week

9/1/2021

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#1: PL

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     What a crazy week of action it has been! (both on and off the pitch...)
     I don't claim to be an unbiased sports new source, so if you're looking for an exhaustive list, or even a normal list, of what teams bought which player in the nick of transfer window time, you won't find it here. Some of us ended this summer transfer window without a striker and are still a little sore about it. So if your team got the player you wanted (i.e., Cristiano Ronaldo to ManUnited) or your team got to keep the player you didn't want them to sell (i.e., Harry Kane for Tottenham), good for you. I guess we'll settle this on the football field.
     Can I just say, I'm not particularly looking forward to facing Manchester United or Chelsea (or FREAKING PSG!!) over the next few weeks? Thank God De Bruyne and Foden will be back after the international break.
     In some other off-the-football-field news, this Benjamin Mendy business is nasty, isn't it? One way or another, I pray the truth comes out and quickly too, for everyone's sake. I'm not giving a verdict since I know next to nothing about the particulars of the case, but honestly, sexual assault should not still be happening in 2021. Perhaps, we - as a society - need to start considering castration as a fitting punishment.
    Rounding up my gameweek round-up with the Chelsea-Liverpool match, talk about a heated battle! Do I think Reese James deserved the red card? Heck yes. He was playing with that ball like he was a juggler. Of course, Anthony Taylor was going to give a red card. Disclaimer: it will be a below-freezing day in Miami before I root for Chelsea in any fixture, so it is possible I only saw what I wanted to see.
Either way, big thanks to Liverpool for taking those two points away from the Blues. Love to see it. Muhaha.

#2: FPL

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     Deep breath y'all,
    I'm so thankful for this international break because I might need to reset my FPL brain.  Oh, I very much hate losing, but it's like as soon as a player gets on my team, they don't know how to win FPL points again. So frustrating!
     I wish I could just put all City players on my FPL team and call it a day. All this stress of trying to guess the future is making my hair fall out (this is most likely because I'm procrastinating washing it, but I'd rather keep lying to myself).
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Gameweek 2: The plot thickens...

8/26/2021

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#1: PL

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      City is back, baby! But that was always going to happen, so... 😝
     
But also, can we talk about what-the-actual-heck is going on with Arsenal?! I am not even an Arsenal fan and I get so frustrated watching them play. (Oh, that Chelsea fixture was so hard to watch). I don't know if it's that they don't want it or that they don't know how to want it.
The complacency is maddening because you know they can be better.
Please, Arsenal, if you're reading this, start trying again. We want to be excited to watch your fixtures.
But maybe start after you play my City boys next week... 

Lastly, Harry Kane, na wa for you oh.

#2: FPL

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     This below average point thing is ghetto.
​You know what, I'm not even mad at it (yet). It's only Gameweek 2. It's just growing pains. IT'S JUST GROWING PAINS!
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Premier League Gameweek 1: So, it begins

8/16/2021

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     Mic check, one, two. Is this thing still working?
It's been a little longer than a while since I have done anything regular on this blog. With the Premier League beginning last week, and my first ever foray into FPL (Fantasy Premier League), I figured why not dust off the ol' bloggy blog and write about the haps of the world's favorite sport?

#1: PL

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     Yes, City is my club and I stand with them forever. Matchweek 1 was a bust, but we move. Maybe now Tottenham will sell Kane to us...
     Can I also just say that we don't deserve the backlash we are currently getting for buying Grealish? Yes, we bought Grealish for £100M, and your team would too, if you had the money, so please miss us with that nonsense.
     Also, all that talk about oil money is just so hypocritical, it makes my skin crawl. As if all the other club owners who made their money through real estate (aka gentrification) or through investing (aka oligarchy) are any better. Or as if basically the whole world doesn't use oil and its byproducts. If you think oil money is so dirty, next time you need fuel for your car, pour water in your gas tank, since it's so clean and free.*

#2: FPL

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     I think the picture pretty much speaks for itself, y'all. I'm basically at the bottom (or second-to-the-bottom) of all my leagues, including at my job (which is 5x embarassing). But, we move. 
Matchweek 2 is coming y'all. ​It's Ronke & City's time to shine!
*Obviously, I am being facetious. Renewable energy is the future and what we all need to work towards.
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The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives: Some Thoughts

5/26/2021

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Image from Amazon*
     Over the past couple of years, I have wondered about my writing voice, about my place in the writing world. It is almost as existential a question as "who am I," so, true to form, it has been very crippling for me creatively. Then, I read The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives. 
     I thought I didn't have anything new to say. I thought, "everything that is worth saying has already been said or is currently being said." Then I read the The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives.
     The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives is a good book. The storyline is captivating, and I particularly enjoyed reading the individual perspectives of each of the characters.
     However, if I had authored The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives, I would have written it in a completely different way. I would have emphasized different aspects than Lola Shoneyin did. For one, I definitely would not have been as explicitly sexual as she was. Perhaps, I might have given Iya Femi a redeeming quality or two.
     Hear me well, this is not, at all, an indictment on Lola Shoneyin. It is merely a revelation for me. I do have something to say because I have a different perspective. I have different life experiences and I have a unique voice. It might not sound like Lola Shoneyin's or Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's or Osar Adeyemi's, but it's mine.
     It's Jesus trying to use me and my voice to say something, and for now, that is enough. 
*https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Lives-Baba-Segis-Wives/dp/0063072327
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5 Tips for Setting Up the Perfect Home Office

5/17/2021

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Image via Pexels
     Running a business out of your home comes with a unique set of hurdles, like maintaining productivity, separating your personal and professional activities, and equipping yourself properly. One of the keys to overcoming these hurdles is creating a home office space that sets you up for success. Whether you are getting a new home or renovating your existing place, these five tips can help you get started out right.

1. Figure Out Your Workspace Needs
     Begin by making a list of everything you will use your office space for. All of the design elements should flow from that list. Consider factors such as whether you will have clients coming to your office, what kind of phone system you require and how much space you need for storage. Ecwid points out that business basics, like a comfortable chair and appropriate desk, should keep you going strong for hours, going beyond aesthetics to meet ergonomic needs. 

2. Keep Your Work and Personal Life Separate
     Though you are working out of your home, keep your work-life and home life as separate as possible. There are some key reasons to do this. First, if you mix the two, it becomes easy for distractions to drag down your productivity or for work to completely consume your home life. As Psychology Today explains, the ability to multitask is really a myth, so ensure you have a space to focus on work. 
     Second, there are legal concerns. Mixing your personal and business finances can get you in hot water with the IRS. Plan on entirely separate accounts for your personal and professional finances. 
     Along the lines of separating personal and business assets, forming an LLC can help protect your personal assets from liability. If you need help navigating your state's laws but don't want to spend a lot of money on an attorney, consider using a formation service to set up your LLC.
     Finally, it is vital to have private, secure storage for sensitive customer information. The last thing you want is for your company to get hacked and take a loss as a result. Be sure to follow protocols like proper password use and installing firewalls to keep sensitive data safe. 

3. Set Ground Rules With Your Family
    More family time can be a nice perk of working from home, but you need to set ground rules. Tell your family what hours you will be working and not to disturb you during those hours unless it cannot be avoided. Avoid working from areas of your home that are not designated workspaces. It will be easier for your family to separate your work time and family time if they don't have to guess when and where you are working.

4. Choose the Right Equipment
     The guiding principles for your equipment selection should be function and comfort. You need to incorporate all the essentials to do your job, such as a phone system, computer, desk, chair, storage and office supplies. However, you also need to keep in mind that you will be spending a lot of time in your office space. Choose a comfortable, ergonomically correct workstation setup. If you have the budget and space, add some productivity boosters, such as a second monitor.

5. Decide If You Need To Move
     If your current home cannot accommodate the changes you need to make to successfully set up a home office, you may need to work with a realtor to find a home that meets your needs. If budget is a potential barrier to relocating, ask about "as-is" properties. You will need to set aside some money to make needed repairs, but you can save some cash on the upfront cost by going this route. Make sure you review the seller's disclosures and have an inspection done. 
     Some "as-is" properties have hidden problems, such as structural damage, mold or pest infestations, that could significantly impact the cost of acquisition, so learn about what you could get into before going this route. 

Your home office serves as your base of operations for everything you do for your business. Setting yourself up for success from the start with the right office in the right home will save you a lot of hassle down the road!
Guest Post by Tina Martin
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To Be Seen

2/5/2021

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I want to be seen.
The kind that sees beyond my brave face, my happy face, my sad face.
I think we all long for that.

To know, that in the middle of this craziness called life, just when you need it, someone is there with a wink that dissolves your frustrations and reminds you not to take life so seriously.

That your darkest thought, your flimsiest desire is heard, really heard, and you remain loved, in spite of it, maybe even because of it...because you let them see you.

That when you can't seem to catch a breath, without you uttering a word, someone sees and without uttering a word, knows exactly what to do to comfort you.

I think, to expect this from another human person is foolish.
Maybe even unfair.
We each have our own ish, building up inside us, blocking us from seeing anyone but ourselves, seeing any other world but our own.

And that's why, today, I'm grateful for the God who sees.*
I'm thankful I know the God who saw Hagar.
That He is the kind of God who sees a lowly servant girl, powerlessly caught in a scheme between two powerful people.
That He is the kind of God who makes you feel seen,
The One who delights in making sure that you know... sending angels and employing people, until you know that He sees you too.

*Genesis 16
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The Waiting

11/9/2020

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I am in the waiting
And I hate it
When all you're wanting
Is what you were promised
And you know that Jesus is saying
It is coming
But all you're wanting
Is the actual timing
Of the promised something
So that you can mark it
On your calendar
Set a timer
So that you're knowing
Not just waiting
Not just wanting
Not just trusting

But you can hear Jesus saying
Trusting is knowing

Though your heart is racing
And your pulse is thrumming
And your body is itching
And you can almost taste the victory
Though other options
Fill your vision
As all your mates offer solutions

Just keep praying
Through the worrying

Just keep trusting
As if you're knowing

Just keep waiting
Though you hate it

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  • Home
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