5/17/2018
A Psalm of Amazing LoveYour love is amazing.
It is able to relieve the pressure of burdens on my heart. Because I remember that You, Who loves me so amazingly, is the One who controls all things. Sometimes I forget, but always bring me gently to remembrance of Your amazing love.
4/19/2018
My week was crazy. How was yours?Hi there.
I hope your week has been great so far. My week has been, well, you know... If you have read at least a few of the content on this website, you'd know that I get overwhelmed pretty quickly. Well, really...I freak out over the littlest thing at the beginning of the day and then the freaking out escalates as I go through the day just wishing I could go hide in my bed so as to un-freak out from the first littlest thing. Yeah... Anyway, I am getting better. At least I think I am. That's why this week was, for lack of a better word, crazy! It's only Thursday and I have visited six cities all over the East Coast. Cities that I have never been to Eep! Monday: I hung out with a friend in Winder, GA, and we went to Zaxby's. (seriously, shout-out to Zaxby's for those insane wings). Also, I went to the Mayfield Dairy Farms in Braselton, GA. (The best part of that visit was hearing Christian songs blasting unashamedly from the overhead speakers.) Second best part? Milking a cow. Fine, it was not a real cow. Then, I saw The Shack. I can truly say: this movie drew me closer to God. More to come later. Tuesday: I drove to Athens, GA (UGA Campus) and had lunch with another friend who is enGAGED TO BE MARRIED AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR HER AND AHHHHHHH!!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!! Wednesday: Got on a flight to Long Island, NY with my family. Then, we were off to up-state New York (Albany-area) to visit a college. It was so cold, yet beautiful. But I missed Atlanta. It's already spring here; they still had undissolved snow on the ground (or was that Massachusetts?) and zero leaves on their trees. Yeah... We, then, drove to Hartford, Connecticut. (Oh, I also passed through Massachusetts! That definitely counts.) Thursday: Thankfully, back home. There is no place like home, they say. They are right! Alright, now to the cool part. Not that travelling was not cool. This is just cool-er. Realizations I came into and lessons I learned this week: I am a firm believer that God has a reason for everything, and that there is a purpose for everything. And so coming into these realizations this week was so cool for me. It made me feel like I was in a God-directed Pokemon Go! game where I was discovering all these treasures, instead of the ordinary acts of just hanging out with friends and traipsing through the East Coast. 1. We (all of us, like every single breathing human being on this planet) are very loved by God. He is "especially fond" of us. - The Shack. Yes, I loved The Shack. No, I did not think it was heretical. Yes, I will write a detailed review soon. 2. Showing my feelings does not make me weak. Guarding my heart does not make me strong. I don't have to build a 256 feet brick wall around my heart and not let anyone in. The wall is not strong enough to protect me. God is. The wall will only succeed in pushing people away. 3. Life at any time, T, might be a lot. But it is not a lot for God. 4. Always try to look at life and situations from the point of view of the person you're mad at. Forgive. There is a 90% chance that this blog is going to be peppy (there is going to be an overuse of exclamation marks). So, if that's not your speed, you might want to...stay anyway! 😁
I thought it would be a cool idea to place this post right after the previous one, because I feel like the juxtaposition is a true reflection of what we all experience: the "happy one second, sad the next" merry-go-round of life. That's why I am super excited to tell you that today, I am feeling that fullness of joy that Psalms 16:11** talks about. And it's amazing! It does not feel like the happiness that ensues when something really good happens. It feels like more. Like knowing everything is going to be okay, because Someone Greater's got it all figured out and there's no need to worry about anything! Asdfghkkjlk!!! The! Best! Feeling! Ever! And to think that all I had to do was run (and stay!) by His side...** Contented sigh. Thank You Daddy. ☺ P.S: Join me in saying a prayer for everyone who needs joy today that they will run to the Lord's side where joy resides.
9/13/2017
Just a little upsetI'm upset.
I am not really sure where this post is going, but feel free to stick around to see how it ends. I know we are all flawed. Gosh, quite recently, the Lord showed me a fundamental flaw in the way I think and act; it was very humbling, to say the least. So I will be the first to admit that we are all flawed. Okay maybe not the first, but I will attempt to admit it... Anyway, I try. I try really hard. I try to listen and take correction and improve and please. But on some days like today, I still end up feeling like poop. People don't appreciate, so I get mad that they don't. Then, I get mad at myself for wanting their appreciation because aren't I supposed to be living for God's approval and not theirs? It gets even more complicated, because what if they just forgot to say thank you? Or what if they, too, are in a bad mood because someone else had been unappreciative? I can't be mad at that. So I just end up with this salad bowl of undirected anger, guilt because I'm angry, sorrow because I feel guilty, hopelessness because I never seem to get anything right, and despair because I'm done. I'm just so over the idiosyncrasies of this world. I'm over the clutch-my-pearls-at-everything-you-say individuals. I'm over the easy-to-offend and hard-to-please people. I'm talking to me. I'm over me, too. I just want to be with Jesus: so simple, so uncomplicated, no ego, no pain, no negative feelings. Just me and Daddy. Sigh. I just want my Daddy.
8/31/2017
Might as well be DeadI know what you are thinking: oh my, Ronke, what a morbid topic.
Or maybe you are not thinking that at all, which makes this kind of awkward... Ugh, forget I said anything. Carry on. Might as well be dead Might as well be dead if you are not going to truly live. That sounds harsh, but it's true. Whoever said the truth was easy to hear, anyway? I have come that they might have abundant Life, the Lord says.* Jesus didn't die so we can wallow in self-pity, guilt, and depression He didn't die so we can harbor regrets from the past and fears for tomorrow. And He certainly didn't die so we can be desperately destitute or wastefully extravagant. "But even though a person sins a hundred times and still lives a long time, I know that those who fear God will be better off." Ecclesiastes 8:13 Jesus died so that we can be better off. "So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life..." Ecclesiastes 8:15 He died so that we can enjoy life on earth and forever in heaven. "...That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun." Ecclesiastes 8:15 But life can only be enjoyed one way: His Way. Work Hard. Enjoy Harder. Worship Hardest. Might as well be dead, if we do not live life His Way. *John 10:10
8/29/2017
In the Face of HarveyIn the face of Harvey tonight, I am struck by the blessing in normalcy. More often than not, we take normalcy for granted.
Wake up, work, sleep. Rinse. Repeat. But which family displaced by Harvey will not give an arm and a leg for a taste of normalcy again? For the chance to argue about who takes out the trash and fight over the television remote? Tonight, I pray for all those who have lost something and/or someone that the God of comfort and restoration will show up in an unprecedented manner. And I encourage all those who still have a taste of normalcy to fiercely appreciate God for it, to say a prayer for those who don't have it, and send in a donation to those who crave it.*** May the Calmer of all storms be with us. **Donations can be sent into Red Cross, Salvation Army, Samaritan's Purse, etc. Even $1 is valuable.
8/4/2017
Coding...1,2,3: Scope Creep!"Help me allow You to make today great."
This morning, as I typically do, I was going through my daily prayer points. When I got to the prayer point above, I said it, and then said it again and again, each time with different words and inflections to really "pray" it. You know what I mean: what you do when the prayer leader calls out a one-line prayer point in church, like "Lord, have mercy on me." I mean, you can't keep saying the same thing over and over. It gets monotonous quickly, and that's how people (read: Ronke) lose concentration. Anyhow, I digress. As I continued to pray and expand on this prayer point in the spirit, at one point, I said: "Help me allow You to make my life great." My brain's first reaction was Scope creep! A little backstory: I work in a software development company and boy, do those guys love/hate that phrase. Scope creep is when a client requests that more functionalities be added to an already planned (and sometimes already being coded) piece of software. Computers are pretty dumb and have to be told everything. Hence, the reason programmers protest when scope creep happens. Every new feature needs to be coded and coding is not as simple as its name. It is expensive and time-consuming. So imagine if God was bound by the same limits that programmers are. When I changed the timeline in my prayer request from "today" to "lifetime," instead of being met with shouts of "scope creep" and estimates running into hundreds of thousand of dollars, I got the peace that comes from being heard, accepted, and answered. Now that's what I'm talking about...😉 Philippians 4:6
8/2/2017
Ruined and WreckedI sat in the train, slouched in my seat. It had been a long day, and I was tired. Not really in the mood to do anything, I just sat there, drifting mindlessly from thought to thought. From the people around me in the train to the famous and almost-famous people I had seen (ahem, stalked) on Instagram that day.
Then, a memory of an interview in which a lady was talking about her soon-to-be spouse's religion as if it was nothing more than a check-box on a census form popped up unbidden. I hung onto that thought and followed it, as I tried to understand the lady's mindset. Even before I knew God, like personally knew Him, faith had always been a big part of my life (hmm...the life of a Pastor's kid). So, I don't think I would ever have married someone who didn't believe Jesus died for the sins of the world. Hence, I tried to understand (more like, psychoanalyze) where this lady was coming from by trying to imagine a life without God. Ronke without God. Honestly? It was terrifying: having a mindset where God did not mean everything to me, where I didn't have God to run to, where I couldn't call on God for help... My heart actually skipped a beat in fear. No joke. There was a time in my life when God didn't mean that much to me. But that was before I met Him. Now, as Dara MacLean so eloquently put it, "I'm ruined. I'm wrecked. And I can't go back to the way I was before." And truth be told, I won't have it any other way.
7/5/2017
My Shoulders and the WorldFirst off, I use a lot of “I” in my blog posts. That’s because: me, I know. Me, I can speak on, factually and truthfully. However, it is my express desire that in reading about me, you will find out more about you and of course, Who it is all about – God.
Okay…moving on! My shoulders are pretty small. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I think I can carry the world on them. Crazy, right? Pretty conceited of me, right? Many of you who are reading can probably relate: adulting is hard. Earlier today, I was doing some adulting-related tasks and so naturally, I was messing them up. Full Disclosure: I was messing up because God wanted me to do it one way and I was doing it the other. Because I kept not listening, I kept failing. Because I kept failing, I got more and more miserable. As I got more and more miserable, the weight of my failures pressed down on me. So naturally, albeit stupidly, I am holding on to that weight – as if that’s the only way it won’t fall off. I don’t have a resolution tied up in a pretty bow for you this evening. Because I am still holding on to some part of that weight. I am trying. Lord knows I am. Maybe by tomorrow, or the next time I post, I will be weightless. And free indeed. John 8:36 So, come back tomorrow. 😉
7/3/2017
Sad and GladPhew.
I don't like emotions, mostly because I don't know how to handle them. My emotions, that is. When it comes to analyzing other people's emotions and rationale, I will dissect and analyze till I can do so no more. Ironically, I am unable to unfeelingly process my emotions in the same manner. Recently, though, I have been getting some Holy Spirit Therapy. As a result of these sessions, I can tell you that today I am sad. Yet Glad. (weird, right? Is that really how this emotion thing works?!) Sad because it is not happening my way. Glad because it is happening His Way. One day, I will be fully glad: when I finally, completely want what He wants. |
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