I Worry

It would be easier, and honestly more self-gratifying, to claim that I don't care what people think about me.
But,
I do care.

I worry if people see Jesus when they see me.
I worry about my quips eliciting cringes instead of smiles.
I worry if my writing is sensationally enough to produce "Hmms."

With these aforementioned worries and so many other unvoiced ones, it is hard to let go and just be a mouthpiece for God.
Every time I write, it is a struggle between self and Spirit, between brain and heart.

This is the part where I am supposed to tell you that the only One whose opinion matters is God and to not worry about what others think.
Don't get me wrong: these assertions are true and should definitely be taken to heart.
But it's hard to assert, when I find myself in the same loop of worrying, struggling, and then worrying about worrying and struggling.

I think that's why the Lord authored this post: that it may be known that it is okay to struggle because we are still works-in-progress.

It has never been our perfection that endeared us to Him, anyway.
​Thank God for that.