Hi there beautiful people.
I know it's been a while. As my little cousin would say, "Sorry!" (Imagine this in a cute chipmunk voice)
Onto the list, dear friends!
Access the Spotify playlist by clicking here (or listen below)
I was going to start this piece off by calling Shaun an idiot. However, after watching him confront Lea on last night’s episode (S03E18), I can’t seem to summon the vitriol anymore. Mostly because I think he finally realizes how idiotic he has been. And it’s not as fun to kick someone when they’re down, you know?
The Good Doctor centers around a brilliant surgical resident, Shaun, who is also autistic. In the current season (S3), Shaun is caught in a love-triangle of sorts. The incredibly ridiculous Carly/Shaun/Lea triangle.
Laughable, really. As if Lea can hold a candle to Carly in the girlfriend department. Honestly, Carly should be given the Oscars-equivalent for Best Girlfriend.
But maybe I’m biased. Let’s examine the facts, shall we?
When we first meet Lea, she is literally the girl-next-door. She breezes past Shaun’s autistic barrier to social interactions and worms her way into his affections. She doesn’t mind that he is autistic. Instead, she seems to like that he is autistic. One time, she even says that he is not like other guys. She takes him out of his comfort zone: road-tripping, driving, drinking, even giving him his first kiss. Perfect, romantic teenage-y stuff, right? No, because Lea drops him like a hot potato almost immediately, claiming that she just wants to be friends and moves right out of San Jose before he could say Dillalo.
Just when Shaun starts to become okay without her, she moves back to San Jose, right into his house and they become roommates. Poor, confused Shaun. Like he needs this much drama in his first situation-ship.
Thankfully, the writers realized that Shaun needs some sanity in his life, so at the end of season 2, Shaun asks another doctor out on a date. Her name is Carly and she has sense. Did I mention that she has sense? Yeah, okay.
In his relationship with Carly, Shaun grows by leaps and bounds. He learns how to be comfortable with his autism. He learns that he is desirable even as someone with autism. He and Carly have open, honest, and deep conversations about their biases (Carly wondering if she is dating him to prove a point because her sister is autistic), their personalities (Shaun disliking intimate physical contact, i.e. handholding), fears (Shaun being afraid Carly will grow tired of his “issues”). For the record, she never gets tired of his “issues.”
Meanwhile, Lea hovers around their relationship like a visible ghost. She lives with Shaun until Carly tells him that she is not comfortable with their housing arrangement. Lea moves out, but less than two episodes later, she is around again, working in the same hospital as a technical assistant (y’all, Lea is supposed to be an automotive engineer! What does that have to do with medical software?)
Finally, the love triangle seems to be solved in S03E16 when Carly breaks up with Shaun because she thinks he is in love with Lea. It takes him an episode to get there, but Shaun agrees with Carly’s assessment and goes after Lea, because he “loves her more.” If I rolled my eyes any harder, they would pop out of their sockets.
Here’s why this is problematic: Shaun already picked Carly over Lea! In S03E11, he weighed Lea and Carly against each other, and picked Carly. If Shaun was not autistic, the storyline of him not “realizing” his love for Lea might be plausible. But he is, so it is not. Shaun is brutally honest and does not engage in nuanced emotional interactions that belie artifice. If he wanted Lea over Carly in S03E11, he would have picked Lea over Carly. But he didn’t.
So, for him to be persuaded that he loves Lea more than Carly because he and Lea sang into one mic at karaoke is a level of idiocy that Shaun should never even have considered. Shaun even tries justifying his decision by claiming Lea makes him a better version of himself (please read: not autistic).
Either Shaun is an idiot or the writers messed up by making Lea seem prejudiced. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Because Lea is who she is now, and Shaun is autistic. They do not fit together. It’s borderline toxic and just plain wrong. To insinuate that Carly did not make Shaun want to be better is a writer’s cop out. Shaun grew so much in one season with Carly than he did in two seasons with Lea. That might have something to do with Carly’s caring consistency and stability, something Lea is not great at.
I applaud Lea’s decision to reject Shaun, but it also highlights why it shouldn’t even have been an option in the first place.
This week's playlist is filled with mood music to get those creative/productive juices flowing. Hope you like.
I pray that your week will be amazing and everything the Lord wants it to be (which is amazing)
Have you guys been enjoying the playlist? I hope so!
Let's get right onto the review...
Hey there, beautiful people, here's what I am listening to this week. I think you'll enjoy the playlist (you know, since I have such an unparalleled taste in music, hehe)
Have a fun week!
Being an adult is putting the leftover pot of food in the fridge because you can’t come and kill yourself.
Being an adult is leaving dishes in the sink overnight.
Being an adult is sometimes sleeping with makeup on.
Being an adult is dozing off on the toilet seat.
Being an adult is going to the washing machine to find your clothes almost dry because you forgot them in there.
Being an adult is going to the dryer to find your clothes cool because you forgot them in there.
Being an adult is not remembering if you turned the dryer on.
Being an adult is spending hours in traffic listening to a Spotify playlist that makes no sense.
Being an adult is realizing that the playlist radio makes more sense than the playlist itself.
Being an adult is an experience.
Being an adult is an experience I am grateful for.
Being an adult is an experience I am determined to consciously and presently enjoy.
You trudge into a gathering of Nigerians (so either a church or a party*), trailing behind your Mama-popular mother.
Suddenly, she looks to the right and wonders aloud, "Is that not Bola Eleko?" Before you know what is happening, she has changed direction and you are rapidly approaching a table of strangers. You get to the table and then begin your own wondering, "Who at this table qualifies as Uncle/Aunty? Do I just curtsy for everyone? Or should I just form omo America and say hi to everyone?"
When we were 12, every woman who was old enough to wear a full face of makeup and carry her own purse was Aunty. And every guy who was old enough to have broad shoulders and facial hair was Uncle.
A decade later, the rules are not so simple anymore. Now that we are now agbalagba*** ourselves, who qualifies as Aunty and Uncle to us?
The people we've been calling Aunty and Uncle since we were 12 don't count. They've been grandfathered in.
But how about the cousins that you are meeting for the first time? Or that family friend who you've only spoken to once?
Some people use age difference as a guideline, but how-in-the-heck am I supposed to know your age if we met 5 minutes ago? The whole thing is just wahala.
If you have thoughts, please drop 'em below. I'd like to know
* If you know, you know. You know?
**agbalagba - Yoruba word for adult
I know it's been said a million times, but here it is again for the million-and-oneth (million-and-first?!) time:
Don't live your life to please people. Don't make your life choices based on "what would people say."
First of all, it is not worth it. Second of all, it is not even possible.
People don't know what they want. Today, they think it is cool that you are the first person of color to marry into British royalty. Tomorrow, they think you are an upstart "black woman" who is trying to rise above her station and steal their beloved prince away.
People have unreasonable expectations. They are fickle. How they feel about you is not based on what you do, it is based on how they feel.
So, Duchess Meghan , if you ever read this, I hope you are happy. I hope you are thriving. I hope you are proud of who you have become.
I hope you are all God created you to be.
Picture sourced: https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/01/prince-harry-meghan-markle-canadian-holiday-photo
My name is Ronke.
I wonder if my Nigerian name would be so hard to pronounce if it was European.
If my five-lettered Nigerian name were a name like Konoplyanka or Vrsaljko or Przemysław, I wonder if that would make it easier for my fellow Americans to pronounce it correctly.
Maybe they would take on the necessary accent to pronounce my name correctly. Even if that means pronouncing 'j' as a 'y' or something. Maybe they would do anything. Anything to make sure that my name sounded the same way it does in the language it comes from.
Maybe they wouldn't pause every time they had to read my name as if it was a complex mathematics equation that defied solution.
Maybe they would roll the 'r' and accentuate the 'e,' so that it actually sounds like the name I was given at my christening.
Maybe I wouldn't have to listen for every variation of my name to make sure I don't miss my turn to go up for a class presentation, or heaven forbid, my diploma at graduation.
Maybe my family in the audience at my graduation would not have to listen more intently than others so they don't miss when the announcer inadvertently mumbles and fumbles through my name.
Maybe they wouldn't give me a silly nickname that makes every one, but me, laugh.
Maybe they would actually try.
Maybe I wouldn't have to produce an English name so it is easier on them.
Maybe I wouldn't have to learn to respond to an English name outside and a Nigerian name inside.
Maybe I wouldn't have to smile and say "it's okay" when they can't pronounce a five-letter-word.
Maybe I wouldn't have to smile politely to ease their discomfort.
Maybe they would actually try.
Say my name. Say my freakin' name.
Don't be afraid to let go and just let God.
I assure you, the earth will not fall off its axis because you decided to rest in the LORD.
He's got the earth, and you, safely cradled in His Hands. Isaiah 49:15, 40:12
Just because something makes sense doesn't make it true.
A cheating boyfriend could claim that the perfume you smell on him is his co-worker's. That doesn't mean he is not cheating.
Do you know one of the explanations for "why things fall" that was proposed before Newton? Aristotle explained that objects fall to the ground because objects are always striving to return to their original home. That is why plastic, glass, metal, etc. all fall to the earth. Fire, on the other hand, rises because it is returning to the sun.
Doesn't that make intuitive sense?
But is it true, though?
Just because evolution and natural selection make sense does not mean God did not create the world in 7 days as the Bible says.
Though I am not necessarily a fan of this word, I believe it is appropriate in this case: Stay woke.
The best kind of lies are those that sound like the truth.
Abeg, stay woke.
As much as new year resolutions have become a cliche, we still make them. We still set goals and make plans for the new year and there is nothing wrong with that.
Here's what there is something wrong with: waiting for someone else to validate your goals.
You don't need it.
For instance, if you set a plan to own a house by the end of the year, you don't need someone to tell you it is not practical since you are not making a steady income.
You don't need it.
But the reality is that we want it. In fact, as humans, we crave validation and approval.
But the truth is that we don't always get it. We don't always have people in our lives who prioritize our interests. Even if they do, they are human and have their own ish to deal with.
Instead: pray, set your goals, pray some more, make your plans, do your best, and leave the rest to God.
Don't wait for someone else to say they like what you are doing or that you are doing good.
Plis dear, find your validation in God.7
Quick note: RAD playlist content changes every week.