I am not really sure where this post is going, but feel free to stick around to see how it ends.
I know we are all flawed. Gosh, quite recently, the Lord showed me a fundamental flaw in the way I think and act; it was very humbling, to say the least.
So I will be the first to admit that we are all flawed.
Okay maybe not the first, but I will attempt to admit it...
Anyway, I try. I try really hard. I try to listen and take correction and improve and please. But on some days like today, I still end up feeling like poop.
People don't appreciate, so I get mad that they don't. Then, I get mad at myself for wanting their appreciation because aren't I supposed to be living for God's approval and not theirs?
It gets even more complicated, because what if they just forgot to say thank you? Or what if they, too, are in a bad mood because someone else had been unappreciative? I can't be mad at that.
So I just end up with this salad bowl of undirected anger, guilt because I'm angry, sorrow because I feel guilty, hopelessness because I never seem to get anything right, and despair because I'm done.
I'm just so over the idiosyncrasies of this world. I'm over the clutch-my-pearls-at-everything-you-say individuals. I'm over the easy-to-offend and hard-to-please people. I'm talking to me. I'm over me, too.
I just want to be with Jesus: so simple, so uncomplicated, no ego, no pain, no negative feelings. Just me and Daddy.
Sigh. I just want my Daddy.
All posts by Ronke (unless otherwise indicated)